For the first time in a long time, I almost cried. I was giving the lesson in church, and i had to fight back tears. I can remember the last time i cried, I was twelve. I promised myself i would never cry again. The image I make for myself is a tough kid between hunting, rugby, wrestling and working on cars. Crying is not in my vocabulary. But today in class when I tried to talk I couldn't my throat swelled and my eyes went dry. Then I felt my eyes start to get wet as I tried to finish my lesson. I said amen. I looked at the ground and tried to play like it didn't affect me. I tried to play it as a tough kid that everyone in my ward knows me as.

How to get through senior year

(1)  Get a job, to pay for gas, food, and dates ( if you're not a sophomore )
(2)  Go to class, you get four tardies and four excused absences a term. That means you only have to go to 164 out of 180 days of school. ( unless your a football player )
(3)  Get a GPA of  2.0 or higher, even if you have to suck up to you teachers. ( D's get degrees )
(4)  Remember to blog for Nelson's class ( include his name, he likes that. )
(5)  Find things you enjoy doing and live life. ( life is to be enjoyed not just endured )

Black out poetry

 


Imagine American very rich at the time,
About to give birth to storm.

Truth is,   I'm not the best writer and if i have to be weird and different to get recognized,    Count me out.   I'm gonna write what i want.  If i have to write about suicide and death just to get recognized.     Then I wont do it.        I believe that good writing can come from things that aren't depressing. Everyone out there get off you computer, stop complaining about you life and do something about it.

Whats on my mind

While my parents want me to think about things like college and a mission. My teachers want me to think about home work. I don't want to think about those things. In fact those are the last things i want to think about. Life goes by to fast and I don't want to spend it planning for the future, knowing I could die today.
What I really think about all days is her. Wondering all day long if I will see her. What I would do if  I did, what would I say. Truth is I'm afraid to talk to her again. I don't know why. But i cant bring my self to say anything, my throat goes dry. I get Scared and I chicken out. I walk away. And all I can ever think about is her.